Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Making Disability Cool.

My heart breaks a little bit every time I see my wife limping around with her Dolomite walker.  She is far too young to need one.  This morning as we did some shopping she passed in an aisle an older woman going the other way with her walker.  This got me to thinking about Harley Davidson riders who flash each other a couple of fingers as they pass on the road.  My mind started turning a little bit about how to cool-ify being disabled.  So here are a few modest proposals:

  • The Harley sign:  scooter riders to scooter riders, walker jockies to walker jockies, wheelchair pilots to wheelchair pilots;
  • Cool paint jobs and lotsa chrome, baby:  flame paint jobs, chrome fender and faux dual exhaust pipes;
  • Leather:  Nothing says cool like leather driving gloves, jackets, skirts - Hell on Wheels, man, oh yeah;
  • Sunglasses:  when you wake up in the morning and the light is hurt your head, the first thing you do when you get up out of bed is hit the streets a-runnin' and try to beat the masses and go get yourself some cheap sunglasses.  (ZZ Top);
  • Scooter sidecars:  Bring along your lame lover, park and let nature take its course;
  • Walker drag racing:  Walkers aren't just for show, they're built for speed.
You're disabled, but you ain't gone yet, so live it up ladies and gents.  Have a little fun and be the envy of your kids and wannabe hipsters everywhere.  Peace out!

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